Mar 11, 2012

Comical Impotence and the Consequences of Forgetting Yourself

I have been observing a tendency, lately, among hatemongers who oppose same-sex marriage, and it is heartwarming in its utterly helpless inadequacy. The Minnesota Marriage Minute video I posted recently, as well as One Million Moms' outrage over Toys R Us selling the infamous Life With Archie #16, where Kevin Keller gets married, has all gravitated around this one argument that is just laughable: "But if we allow gays to marry, children will think it's ok to be gay!" In their own words, sans the hate lingo. Let me translate further: "But if we let them marry, homophobia will soon not be ok!" It is so transparent, I predict very soon even neutral people, and maybe some of those against same-sex marriage, will connect the dots. Hatred is a tough sell, once you get rid of all the sugarcoating that gives it a positive spin. Seriously, all of you, Protectors, Researchers etc., is THAT what your anti-gay arguments have devolved to? Are you really that f**king desperate? Has the anti-gay movement reached this point in its inevitable demise?

So, it was greatly satisfying for me to read Cracked's article How Archie's Gay Friend Proved the Internet Can Do Good. The main point of the article is dead on, and very much worth reading, but what was even more amusing is the unapologetic derision the author shows for the American Family Association and its spawn advocacy group One Million Moms. Here are some choice quotes:

The American Family Association aren't just a recognized hate group, they're cartoon villains that escaped into the real world. They're driven by hate, choose actual comics characters as their enemies and still fail humiliatingly and publicly. They think of themselves as righteous crusaders, because they're exactly the sort of assholes who still use the word "crusade," but they're really Gargamel from the Smurfs: fighting ridiculously soft fictional targets just because they're the same gender and happy together, and still managing to lose.


One Million Moms is a website based on intolerance and the inability to count. It's named the same way a kid might call himself Commander Badass Boobtoucher: desperate wish-fulfillment and blatant lies. Despite being an entirely online group, they only had about 40,000 Facebook fans, an accurate count both of their real support and of how many moms don't know their kids have already blocked them. By their math, I could call my dick the Pleaser of Luxembourg and it would be more accurate, because I'm only short about half a million people.

I know, it's just magical. The rest of the article follows the same style, so treat yourself to it.

On a marginally related subject, other parts of society are also beginning to wake up to the inadequacy of hate mongers, and even though this particular example is not directly related to gay issues, it is VERY MUCH worth mentioning. As you might know, Rush Limbaugh recently went on a 3-day rampage calling a young woman "a slut", "a prostitute" and urging her to post her sex videos online in response to her talking in defense of government covering contraception in insurance (you can find thousands of videos, articles and commentary on the subject at I found out today that the scandal has spread outside of Rush's show. Currently NINETY EIGHT major sponsors have pulled out of not only his cesspool, but also any other program that could be considered as "offensive and controversial". Here is an article on the subject, and a quote from it:

Premiere Networks, which distributes Limbaugh as well as a host of other right-wing talkers, sent an email out to its affiliates early Friday listing 98 large corporations that have requested their ads appear only on “programs free of content that you know are deemed to be offensive or controversial (for example, Mark Levin, Rush Limbaugh, Tom Leykis, Michael Savage, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity).”

This is big. According to the radio-industry website, which first posted excerpts of the Premiere memo, among the 98 companies that have decided to no longer sponsor these programs are “carmakers (Ford, GM, Toyota), insurance companies (Allstate, Geico, Prudential, State Farm), and restaurants (McDonald’s, Subway).” Together, these talk-radio advertising staples represent millions of dollars in revenue.

I'm realizing suddenly that given the opportunity, people DO actually make the difference between right and wrong some times. It is surprising, but pleasant none the less. Perhaps this is the beginning of the downfall of Right wing hate preachers who think they're godlike in their unaccountability for what they say. Freedom of speech is a wonderful thing, but I am loving the freedom of consequences even more.

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